Top Ten Books & Authors I’ll Never Read
Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created over at The Broke and the Bookish which I adore and therefore chose to adopt into my weekly blog posts!
This week is a freebie post so I decided to go with an old topic that Jamie used back in 2010! Now I don’t want anyone to be offended by this list, it’s my own personal bookish preference and I have attempted to read most of these books and then found that they were DNF for me! So here we go…
Fifty Shades of Grey – No, NO. Not for the reasons you’re thinking, I do enjoy Laurell K. Hamilton novels, after all. To be honest, I tried this one and couldn’t get through it. As a librarian I thought it was my duty to take a chance on this book (see how I make myself feel better) and you know what, I just wanted Anastasia and her inner goddess to shut the f up and for Christian to put on his big boy panties. Truly.
The Host – Just…no.
The Casual Vacancy – I really did have every intention of reading this one simply because it is J.K. Rowling but the more I read about the book, the more I realized that it really is nothing I will ever be interested in.
Nicholas Sparks – I read The Notebook years ago, after I saw the movie, mind you, and boy was I disappointed. This book makes me throw up in my mouth a little This is my own bias as this type of book just isn’t something that I generally love.
Crossed/Reached – I tried to convince myself that I liked Matched because it was a book that everyone was loving at the time and I didn’t want to feel like a mutant. Thankfully some blog friends (and my students, to my surprise) told me that the series only gets worse and to not waste my time. Whew!
I tried…I really tried…(aka these are STILL marked as “Want to Read” on Goodreads..)
Bossypants – Everyone told me that this was soooo hilarious but you know what? I’m in my mid-twenties, I related to NOTHING in this book.
The Fault in Our Stars – I tried for book club, I really did!! I also tried reading An Abundance of Katherines and couldn’t get through that either!! It’s totally me, and not you, John Green.
Let’s Pretend This Never Happened – Oh man, I probably listened to half of this audiobook trying to convince myself that it was funny and I just wasn’t in the right “mood” as I was listening – not to mention that I paid for it assuming that I would love it as I love The Bloggess and her column. Apparently humor books just aren’t my thing.
Pegasus – Who doesn’t love Robin McKinley? When I tell you that I have tried to read this book at least five times, I am not kidding. I don’t know what it is, everything about the book screams “Alyssa.” I mean, hello? Her best friend is a PEGASUS. What is wrong with me?!
Tender Morsels – This one pushes too many buttons for me. The blurbs and reviews make it sound phenomenal but every time I pick it up I feel myself physically cringe over its contents.
Books Take You Places 
Man, I LOVED The Host. Way more than I loved the Twilight series, which I am unashamed of to this day. Also the Nicholas Sparks books are about as formulaic as the John Green books, but I tend to love them both (but I will admit that TFiOS is my least favorite of Green’s).
I listened to the Bossypants audiobook and followed along with the print copy and made it through it. On the first attempt, I just attempted with print only and couldn’t get thru the first few pages. But with Tina Fey reading it herself, it was better. I’m just not the biggest fan of her humor, although as an SNL writer, she is AMAZING. So that is pretty much the only part of the book that I laughed so hard that my belly hurt. I’m glad I read it but I most likely won’t read it again. It is a funny book – she’s very funny – she just isn’t one that really appeals to me. So I get that one!
As far as some of these other ones go, I think mixed reviews or conversations or curiosity will often make me pick up a book, but not when I have super-great fantastic amazing other books in my stacks. Ya know? I think I’ll give almost anything a chance once, but I may wrinkle my nose up or make some faces while I attempt it.
I LOVE this topic. And I love that you’re so steadfast in your NEVER-ness.
Ash I really tried with almost all of these books!! Some I’ve picked up 3-5 times because I hate marking a book as DNF! I was surprised to see that these are all so different. Since my job is to be an expert at lit I really try to read (or know about) all kinds! Also to be honest, I’ll probably attempt Pegasus and Tender Morsels AGAIN. Sigh.
Most of these I haven’t read… but I will say Bossypants is a huge favorite of mine. Mostly because Tina is a huge favorite of mine. But… I can see how it’s not for everyone. I haven’t read The Casual Vacancy either… I have no desire to. I mean, yes, it’s J.K. Rowling… but the plot just doesn’t sound interesting to me. And I didn’t really love TFIOS either. I mean, it was good… but I didn’t fall in love with it like everyone said. I’m glad I’m not the only one!
Also… Tender Morsels… haha at first I thought it was going to be another 50 Shades book! haha
There are actually quite a few books on this list I plan never to read. I don’t read erotica, so Fifty Shades of Gray is out. I also don’t like Twilight, so the The Host is out. Like you, I wasn’t a huge fan of Matched. I may read the next one in the future–I do own a copy–but it isn’t a priority,
In high school I was obsessed with Twilight (until the last book ruined it for me) and after that I vowed never to read any of her books again. Until The Host came out. I took a chance on it and I’m so glad I did. Her writing matured, and the topic was so much more interesting than some vampire love story. This one actually had depth to it.
I’ve only ever read The Last Song by Nicholas Sparks and it had me in tears. For that reason alone I need to read some of his other books. Same with John Green. I read The Fault in Our Stars and loved it, so now I feel like I should try his other books too.
HAHA I’m so not a John Green person either. Since we may be the only ones in the world, let’s get together!
The Host…. Not so much. I’m not even motivated to see the movie. I finished the book which felt way too long (and that was back when I was a casual reader and had the time) and aliens? Aliens. Aliens!?! No. I hate alien books/movies/TV shows/anything.
Erotica is whatever, but no no no no no to Fifty Shades. My friends have read it and were all in love with it. I heard things about it and did not like the way the book was written from the excerpts I read. Just no thank you.
DUDE, The Notebook as a book was SO not as good as the movie. I read it after the movie too and I was so disappointed!
Ha! My list would be similar. I did like Bossypants, but am also in my twenties and didn’t really relate to it. I’m all like “it’s not you, it’s me” with John Green, too. I’ve been on the fence about Laurel K. Hamilton for a long time…maybe next time I need an adult paranormal fix I’ll give them a try. Nicholas Sparks makes me want to throw up in my mouth, too. I read A Walk to Remember in high school when I had the flu, so I thought it was a bad association…but no. that’s one that it is him, not me.
I will never read 50 shades either! Bleurghhh!
The Host has been on my shelf ever since it came out, yet I still haven’t read it. I can’t escape the feeling that it’ll be Twilight all over again, but since I’ve actually paid for a copy of it, I suppose I’ll read it.
The Casual Vacancy is a book I’ve been avoiding to read, not because I think I’ll hate it, but because I don’t want to dislike it. J.K. Rowling is like my goddess and I really don’t want to not like her book. So I’m not reading it. Smart EH? 😛
And I’m so glad someone else has problems with John Green. I did read TFiOS, and I liked it but not at all as much as everyone else seems to. I couldn’t get through An Abundance of Katherines either.
I really like this list! Often when I read a book I have to ask myself if I like it because I want to like it, because everyone else likes it, because I like the idea of it, or because I ACTUALLY like it. I love that you’re so honest about this list 😀
I absolutely agree with fifty shades. I didn’t even try reading it. Everyone I know who reads books read it and they kept trying to get me to, but from the parts they read out loud to me, I honestly just want to punch both characters in the face. I wouldn’t be able to read it without getting aggravated every two pages.
I also have the same relationship with John Green. I watch his vlog brothers videos and I absolutely adore him as a person, and I read Katherines and really liked it, but have no desire to read any of his other books.
I really enjoyed this post.
-Antonia
I also chose this topic for TTT and both The Host and Nicholas Sparks made it on my list, too!
I listened to the audio of Bossypants and loved it, though. I’m in my late twenties and still identified with Tina.
I am actually going to try reading The Host! My sister read it fairly recently and LOVED it. While our tastes are hit and miss when it comes to matches, I am curious about this one and not just because of the movie.
Also, I read Nicholas Sparks novels and I AM NOT ASHAMED. While I don’t love all of them, I do have a few favorites. They’re like familiar old friends to me, and I guess there’s just something I enjoy about them.
I’m determined to read The Casual Vacancy soon. I have it (a signed copy!) and I want to read it. The boy read it and actually liked it, so I think I might too. I’m going in to it knowing that it’s a completely different sort of story than Harry Potter.
As for John Green, I hope you ending up liking one of his books! I really enjoy his writing, though I’m a bit of an odd duck in that I like An Abundance of Katherines more than Looking for Alaska AND The Fault in Our Stars did not make me cry. Hopefully, one of his other books works out better for you!