Swoonfest: Favorite Disney Men

The Top most swoon worthy Disney men

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In response to a recent post by BuzzFeed on the top 10 hottest Disney princes I decided to compile my own list since I disagreed with nearly every choice presented. I brought this to the bf and he argued that these princes didn’t really rank in manliness, and he had a point. So I went to Twitter and asked the masses, and more importantly, our expert blogger on manliness: Aaron from Real Men Read YA, head over to his blog and read his thorough and hard to argue with post. I’m going to go beyond the first glance and look for a well rounded male. Let’s see what we have…

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Prince Phillip – Let’s start from the beginning, he isn’t wearing any creepy poofy sleeves like some Disney princes and he doesn’t just sit in his palace hoping that his dad will put together a ball so that he can find a wife – he gets shit done. Like when he views a hot blonde singing and dancing with his cape (that’s right ladies, he wears a cape) he jumps right in like “HAI I’m Phillip, do you like the feather in my cap?!” Later, when a witch imprisons his beloved and is like “Yeah..imma let you in right after you slay this dragon.” HE DOES IT, then becomes so overwhelmed with LOVE for Aurora that he goes against ya know, MORALS and kisses her! SAVING THE KINGDOM! Also? Points for kissing someone he’s already betrothed too, no heartbreakers here!

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Prince Eric – Okay I have to admit, at first I wasn’t sure that he would even make the cut but then I started really thinking and Eric is totally swoon worthy. First, he plays an instrument – this shows us he has a sensitive side and those musical fingers – enough said, am I right?! Then there is the fact that he knows his way around a ship, I mean, he’s basically a pirate and who doesn’t wanna walk the plank for Captain Hook? *That’s circa 2013 – OUaT Captain Hook and not Neverland Captain Hook because when it comes down to cross dressing pirates, guy liner wins over wigs any day in my book. I digress…back to Eric – the guy isn’t pretentious, he isn’t one to promote a statue of himself and we all saw those muscles as he rowed Ariel to the middle of the lake. Finally, he is super protective of those he loves, he jumped in to save Ariel from a sea witch! Lets not kid ourselves, Urusula may be the queen of the BAMFs of Disney movies and Eric is like “That’s cool I’ll just use my pirate skills to steer my boat and pop a big ‘ol hole in your stomach!! Finally, I can’t lie to you guys, the moment when Eric goes back to the EXPLODING ship to save Max? I can’t. IT GETS ME EVERY TIME and even my tiny black heart skips a beat or two.

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The Beast – Is he a wolf? Is he a lion? Do we care? Didn’t think so. This is the kind of man we like to call “brooding” or “misunderstood.” He’s a serious grump most of the time but it’s just because no one “gets” him and this girl loves a challenge. His voice is so deep it melts the clothes right off and let’s not forget that he can fight a whole pack of wolves with just his hands! Oh my! In the end he is both protective of Belle and does that signature brooding guy move where he pushes her away because he knows that “she deserves better.” My favorite! Now if that wasn’t enough, he gives Belle a library. A whole library! With ladders! And marble! After giving her the most epic present in the history of presents, he plays with her in the snow, feeds the birds, and sits with her while she reads him Romeo and Juliet! (I’m not making this up, it’s in the deleted scenes on the new DVD – nerd alert!) *Note: This entry is for The Beast only. I’m not sure what Disney was thinking in transforming The Beast into a rather effeminate blonde. Guy was tall, and kept his blue eyes, but I’m still partial to The Beast, I don’t care how often I’d be vacuuming his hair off of the couch.

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Flynn Rider – The only man to come along and make me doubt my love for our number one Disney male. I’ve heard some people complain that Flynn was a thief, but look – the guy had a hard childhood and anyone with the first name Eugene is someone who can be trusted. Lets get into the pleasantries: That hair! Those eyes! The GRIN! That SMOLDER! Props to Rapunzel because I’m not sure many of us could say that we could easily resist that compilation! Lets not forget his excellent singing voice, I personally stop what I’m doing to watch him dance his little jig and sing about enormous piles of money. The best part about Flynn is that we are able to watch him grow as the movie progresses. He starts off as a thief but who didn’t swoon a bit when he rows Rapunzel to the middle of the ocean and brings her a lantern to partake in the festivities?! That was above the line of duty, my friends. We could end with the fact that Flynn gives up his life for Rapunzel and therefore is the epitome of all Disney boyfriends but let’s be serious, it’s the fact that he has a “thing” for brunettes that really pushes Flynn to the front of the line. Pick me, Eugene!

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Aladdin – Ahh my first love. I know he could use a new wardrobe but have you seen those patches in his knees? That means the dude knows his way around a needle, ladies, and we all know we love a man who can take care of himself! Ain’t nobody got time to be sewing our husband’s favorite pair of pants while he’s out playing with his monkey – and I mean that literally. Moving on..he’s flexible, knows how to carry a tune and he not only stops stuffy princes from picking on small children, he gives them his last scrap of bread! Sure he stole it and he will most likely just pilfer some more but those kids were hungry, and I gotta be honest, I’d share a few nibbles but there’s no way those kids need a whole loaf when I’ve yet to have my breakfast. Now the fun stuff – he has a magic carpet! One who saves him on more than one occasion, because Aladdin is so awesome, even fabric stays loyal to him. Fancy a trip to England? Lets take a magic carpet ride, baby. We’ll be there in no time. Finally, his best friend (besides the monkey) is a genie! Now you might be thinking that Genie left to travel the world but let me assure you that he comes back, I saw the tv show so I know these things. Overall Aladdin is scrappy, clever, and undeniably good looking. I’ll show him a whole new world any day.

Honorable mentions (because I CAN):

Kronk from The Emperors New Groove – He’s muscly, knows his way around the kitchen, speaks the language of tiny forest animals, and succeeds in creating his own theme music.

Hercules – Any guy who can win over Megara (who is totes my home girl, btw) is a winner in my book. Not to mention those muscles and his bff is a flying horse – a guy who can drive, yes please!

Robin Hood – He’s an outlaw because he steals from the rich to give to the poor! Also? He jumps out of a flaming tower into a very shallow moat to escape hundreds of arrows being shot at him and survives.

Prince Naveen – The accent, ’nuff said.

Woody from Toy Story – Because every gal likes a cowboy.

Things to note:
  • As mentioned in the buzzfeed article Snow White’s Prince, though the first to be seen by the general public, has few redeeming qualities. Unless you need someone to confess his love for you while harmonizing perfectly and showing you up in physical attributes then immediately forgetting your address and refusing to ask for directions, move along m’dears, you can do better!
  • Simba could very well have made this list for the sole reason that his dad is Darth Vader and his uncle is Jeremy Irons. Unfortunately, having BAMFs as family members doesn’t help you if you’re Matthew Broderick.
  • Sure Tarzan looks nice but I can’t be bothered by a man who consistently uses improper grammar. “Me Tarzan.” “Yeah and me not have the patience.”

*I’m not saying that you should Google “disney men by david kawena” but it could be a good idea. Possibly.